Monday, June 22

A Year

I got bored of blogging, about... well, exactly one year ago today. I was stuck in a nursing home, desperately unhappy with no prospect of getting out in the forseeable future, no nearby friends, no privacy, dignity, or independance.

I always said I'd rather die than end up in a nursing home.

When it came down to it, I couldn't do anything about either. There are no words for how horrific it is to know that you've no choice at all in the matter - a treatment more regularly doled out to those convicted of some horrible crime.

So, what about now?

I'm 23, I live in Hulme with my lovely housemate ScaryCyclist and three cats.

I use an electric wheelchair because I have a severe, progressive disability caused by a fairly rare genetic condition. Technically I was born with it but the first time it would have been even remotely possible for anyone but a major expert to spot it, I was 12. As it is it wasn't spotted until I was 20 - something of a shame as a lot of pain, expense and heartache could have been saved if some appropriately trained person had spotted it.

I also have a tube for getting liquids into me and another one for getting them out again.

I'm getting more and more technology dependant and am occasionally startled by the realisation that mostly I don't really care any more. Not that I don't care about me, but I don't think there's anything my body could throw at me now that'd really surprise me.

I keep trying to finish my degree and failing miserably. This is a source of some distress and self-disgust and I really need to get things moving and get it done. Amongst my delight at Muso Sister's imminent qualification as a secondary school music teacher, via Cardiff Uni and Homerton College Cambridge, is real anger with myself for not managing so much as an undergraduate degree in the time that my two-years-younger sibling has taken to acquire a BMus and a PGCE. I hate myself for this, in full awareness that hating oneself is unlikely to be very productive.

I need to overhaul my blog, its template, links and the rest so I should probably stop wittering now and get on with it.

To conclude: have some extraordinarily beautiful slugs.


Kath said...

Hi, I jumped across from MCKmama's blog, I'm Kath, the person who lives near Southport. And I'm not too far away from Manchester, according to google maps, 50 miles or so. :) You are right, what a small world!

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

Hi Becca,
This is Becky, I farted on my blog and made you laugh. Nice to meet you. Would you like to join my Becky Club? (All variants of Rebecca welcome. We do not discriminate.)